Today I come to you with tear-dimmed eyes. I feel my weakness and my need of leaning onJesus and learning to wait! I am so impatient. Again and again I seemto need the reminder to wait. I know it in my head, but I must understand it in my heart so that my life can live it out. So He comes to me again and again with lessons designed to teach me this truth of waiting. The poem on the right by Grace Null Crowell that I found today—after listening to a message on “Trust”—ministered just the right thing to my heart, and I thought that it might bless you too. Let me take you through the meditations of my heart and what God spoke to me.
Grace Null Crowell
If but one message I may leave behind,
Despair may tangle darkly at your feet,
For I have waited through the dark and I
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage,
God reminded me of the verse, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” Is. 26:3 He reminded me that when I do not lean on Him, when I am afraid, or when I cannot sing in my trials, I am not trusting Him. It is so easy for me to look at Peter and say, “What a foolish man. He had just seen the feeding of the five thousand. He had seen the Master do all the miracles. Why did he not trust? Why did he look at the water?” But those words come back to haunt me. I have seen marvelous things at the hand of the Master. I have watched time and again as He answered my prayers and did miracles for me. Why then should my faith falter and why should I begin to be anxious. I am so much like Peter!
I can hear the Master saying to Peter, “Oh thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” I can hear Him saying the same thing to me. How patient He is and how kind, when time after time I take my eyes off Him and I face the stormy winds and waves. Then I tremble and I falter, but He calls to me, “Be of good cheer. It is I. Be not afraid.” He says, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Mt. 11:28-30
Resting on daddy!
Rest is a state of quiet, a place of trust. When I rest like a child, I do not struggle or fret. The picture of my little daughter snuggling up to her daddy and resting quietly on his shoulder is etched deeply on my heart. No fretting, no wiggling to be down, just a quiet contentment to be in a safe, strong resting place. Ah, what a wonderful Father we have! The older I get, the more I understand my frailness and His strength. I cannot walk alone. I must wait and hold fast to His hand. “But he knoweth the way that I take: and when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” Job 23:10 Tonight, as I ponder over the message that I heard today on trusting, I am challenged to higher heights. I would love to have learned this lesson and been done with it, but I will be learning it better and deeper until He bids me “come home.”
I looked at Elijah under the juniper tree, where the Lord found him when Jezebel was out hunting for him. He was so discouraged that he wanted to die. Where had he been just before that? He had been on Carmel, where he called fire down from heaven and God had vindicated Himself through this man. Now here he was, just a short bit later, alone and discouraged. But God is so faithful. He did not leave Elijah there. God took him away and showed Himself to Elijah.
He does that for me time and again. He gives me victories and then He lets me alone so that I understand that the victory was not by power or by might, but by His Spirit. He lets me come to the end of myself in the dark, and then when I see my need of Him and call out to Him; He lights His lamp for me to see the way. He does not want me to walk alone. He wants me to follow Him. He is fitting me for heaven, to be with Him. I could not enter in, in my self-sufficiency and my pride.
God does not leave us, weary mother friend. He will come to us and show us Himself. He is the Mighty God, the Comforter, the Prince of Peace! (How I need that part of Him!) He is the good Shepherd, the Bread of Life, the Everlasting Father. He is good! He is good all the time. Our problems are nothing for Him.
- He is bigger than a bill that must be payed. All the cattle on the hills are His.
- He is bigger than the problem in your home. He knows the answers and will show you how to walk when you seek Him with all your heart.
- He has the answers for your child training. He knows how to help you deal with the needs of each child, even the difficult one. He especially seeks after lost sheep. Do not give up hope. The Shepherd went out after the one lost sheep and brought him home, rejoicing.
- He is there when your strength is gone. “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.” Is. 40:29
- When your child is so sick that you are not sure that he will live, He is there to hold your hand and walk with you through the valley and the shadow.
- He is bigger than the confusion that surrounds you. “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” Ps. 56:3
- He is a Father to the fatherless and a Husband to the widow. (And, to those who are like a widow, without a father or husband in the home.) What an awesome Father He is. He never makes a mistake. He is always there and never too busy to listen.
- He hears us when we call. He has said, “Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.” Ps. 50:15
It is in the darkest hours that we find His light on the hill the brightest.
We can walk on water with Him, but only when we are looking into His face. Men may disappoint us. Friends may turn against us, but when the Master says “Come,” He will never let us down. I find it so often that when I begin to sink, He holds out His hand to me and walks with me to the safety of the boat. Then when I am in the boat … He stills the storm. Sometimes He waits until all seems lost before He comes, but He always comes. I think that He might wait until it is so dark so that we KNOW it is Him when He comes. He does not want us to put our confidence in men, in friends, or in things. He wants us to put our complete trust in Him.
He says again, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you... Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Jn. 14:27 God gives peace to obedient, broken hearts. When we are anxious, we must check our hearts. Have we taken our eyes off of Jesus? It is in my darkest hours that I sense His Presence and His peace the most. And what He wants is for me to KNOW HIM. If all my life were easy, I would not seek to know Him, and so He brings me trials to turn my heart to Him. He wants me to really, really know Him and depend on Him. He wants me to have a deep, abiding relationship with Him. So, He keeps bringing me back to the place where I seek Him and lean on Him.
I have watched as God has taken those I love through trials. I have stood by, trembling as they walked through deep waters. But I have seen them come through with a faith and a trust that shines. I have felt His hand as He took hold of mine in a dark hour. I saw the light He lit upon a heavenly sill. It guided me through my trial. I had no one to lean on except Him. He did not fail me. The longer I live, dear mother friend, the more I see that it is in the darkest hours that we find His light on the hill the brightest. He has come through for me in sickness, in rejection, in sorrow, and in weakness. He always comes when I call on Him!! So learn with me to wait, to hope, and to trust. Lean hard on Jesus. He is our Rock and our Strength. ~
This article was inspired by a message titled “Leaning Trust Will Produce Faith,” preached by Gerald Nolt.